Early last Thursday morning, I followed Tito, my dog, onto a log to cross a creek. We’ve done it hundreds of times. This time, just before we got to the far side, a beaver slipped into the water through the heavy brush. Tito stopped. Tried to turn around. And fell in. After scrambling onto rocks, he was stuck in a cold creek running fast through thick woods and brush. 6 feet below me. I took off my boots and socks and climbed down into the creek. Tried to lift him back onto t

I was sitting in traffic last Sunday when I suddenly understood something about my partner. I had a epiphanette. Not a full-on epiphany with angels and trumpets. An "aha" moment about something he does that's puzzled me for 15 years. Maybe you have someone in your life whose behavior mystifies you. It could give you an "aha" moment, too. The lay of the land We live in a tiny community and drive 35 miles to a small city to buy groceries. On the way, we go through a tourist tow

I don't usually tell stories about people I work with. But I have her permission to share it with you because she's pretty excited about it. Let's call her Sara. She has a really full life, like most of us. Two kids, a husband, an ex (her kids' dad), starting a new business. Three cats and a new house. We've talked a few times when she was deep in very active overthinking. It happens when her husband gets angry or frustrated. As people do. It's regular relationship stuff, but

This week, I had a conversation with someone about what to do when the person you love withdraws. Everything's fine. Then they're suddenly miles away emotionally and mentally. Not talking, not touching, not tender. Maybe sleeping in another room. You ask what's going on and they don't want to talk about it or say it's not about you. I've been there. Maybe you have, too. It's especially tough when you have an anxious attachment style. (Julie Menanno, couples therapist and auth

Every few weeks, my second husband would say the dreaded words: “We need to talk.” I’d follow him down to his basement office, knowing what was coming—his litany of the ways I had failed to make him happy. If I would just change, he insisted, he’d feel better. I accepted this because I'd done the same thing in my first marriage - handed my happiness over to my husband for 16 years, believing if he would just change, I'd be happy. In both marriages, I didn’t understand the cru

Time to open the curtain and shine a spotlight on relationship drama. (See what I did there?) If you or your partner overthink, your relationship is likely to be full of it. Drama is continual unhealthy emotional intensity. Here are just a few ways it plays out in relationships: Arguing over things that don’t matter Seeking reassurance Attempting to control someone else Constant conflict How does overthinking fuel relationship drama? 1. ‘What if’-ing Meet John and Jane Smith