What to do when you resist your next step

​I’ve been procrastinating.

Hopping up from my desk to find a snack, scrolling on social media, and downloading a new video game.

I have a list of things to do before opening The Art of Connection. They aren't hard. They're just not as much fun as talking to clients.

This week, I've been the poster child for resistance. It's the uncomfortable state of knowing you need to do something, but you have feelings about it. So you keep putting it off.

The usual advice about resistance is to push through it. Just grit your teeth and do the thing. So I kept trying, which lasted for a few minutes before I found something else to distract me.

Then I wondered what would happen if I didn't push through my resistance. What if I turned toward it instead?

I closed my eyes and felt it: a knot just left of my sternum that radiated through my chest and into my arms, whining "I don't want to."

Instead of trying to ignore it, I stayed with the physical sensation. Instead of pushing it away, I welcomed it. Literally whispered “you’re welcome to stay” to my resistance.

Something shifted.

It's still there. But when I stopped fighting it, I had the energy to actually do the work in front of me.

You can try this, too.

Think of something you're resisting right now. A conversation. A decision. A project.

Close your eyes and ask: where do I feel this in my body?

Stay with that sensation. Don't try to change it. Just feel it, exactly as it is. Then welcome it to be there.

If you don't love your next step, love your resistance to it.