The map I wish I had 20 years ago

I had no clue how to get out of my head and into my heart. So I tried everything—for 20 years.

Egyptian etheric healing. Crystals. Buddhism. New Age church-ism. Dozens of books. Meditation. Therapy. Reiki. Yoga.

I always hoped the next thing would be The One. ​

I didn’t know how to get from where I was -- endless internal churning -- to where I wanted to be.

I didn't have a map.

So I wandered—chasing promises, turning back, starting over.

​ None of us have a map when we start personal growth work.

We start at the point of our pain. Mine was living in my damn head all the time. Yours might be something else—but pain is pain.

But we don't really know where we want to go. Just anywhere other than where we are.

Want a map?

Let me offer you a very high-level view of the natural progression from overthinking to deeply trusting yourself.

Untangle your mind.

Feel your feelings.

Practice trust.

This progression turns into a personal map when you identify where you're starting from and where you'd like to go.

I'm offering you some journal prompts to help you do both. Don't try to write your map--it will emerge.

Just respond to each prompt without thinking very hard about what to write or how to write it. Writing more quickly can be helpful.

Give yourself plenty of time to go through them in a few sessions.

The first two are about thoughts, the middle two are about feelings, and the last two are about trust.

Be honest. Be messy. Use your imagination. Nobody's watching.

• What do you like about the way your mind works? What kinds of thoughts are helpful? What kinds are heavy, dark, or unhelpful? How does your current balance between helpful and less helpful thoughts feel?

• If you had the optimal balance between helpful and less helpful thoughts, what would change for you? What might you let go of? How would you feel?

• How aware are you of your strong feelings? Do they emerge quickly or build over time? What strong feelings do you experience most often? How aware of you of more subtle feelings? Which ones do you experience most often?

• What do you like about your awareness of your feelings? How it is helpful to you? Are there ways in which it isn't helpful? What might change if you had the optimal level of awareness for you? How would it feel?

• What kinds of choices do you trust yourself to make? What do you do when you don't trust yourself? Does your level of trust in yourself vary across the areas of your life--like relationships, work, family, self-care? Where do you trust yourself more and not so much?

• What do you like about your current level of self-trust? What might change if you trusted yourself more in the areas of life where you already do? What might change if you fully trusted yourself in all areas of your life? How would it feel?

There are no right or wrong responses. The only goal is to better understand where you are right now and whether moving in a new direction would be helpful.

Thanks for sticking with me.