🧠❤️ Memorize these 6 words

I was sprawled on the couch at 9PM, ready to take my mystery novel to bed and read myself to sleep.

My phone rang.

For the second night in a row, my daughter wanted to talk about an argument with her partner.

The previous night, I'd listened for a long time before asking her if she wanted some suggestions.

On Thursday, I went straight to telling her what she and her partner should do.

She interrupted me in a sharp voice:

I just want you to say, "I’m sorry. That sounds really challenging."

A universal human experience is that getting unsolicited advice invalidates our experience and leaves us feeling exposed and alone.

We still give other people unsolicited advice because problem-solving is the default mode for people who overthink, Reader.

Especially when we have uncomfortable feelings.

Someone describing a challenge they're facing can trigger emotions like fear, anxiety, worry, envy, impatience, and disdain. The stronger the feelings, the more likely we are to dump to-dos on someone who just wants our support.

My daughter stopped me in my tracks.

I took a deep breath and checked myself.

What did I feel? Tired and impatient.

Why? Because it was late and I thought they should have resolved the issue by now.

I immediately got over myself.

Because I wanted to mean it wholeheartedly when I said, “I’m sorry. That sounds really hard.”

These 6 words are an important relationship tool in 3 ways.

1. Say them immediately when your partner, friend, or family member tells you about a problem to create instant connection and support.

2. Repeat them with variations every time you’re tempted to tell them what to do.

3. Use them when someone offers unsolicited advice to ask for what you need.

Sending you peace of mind, always,

Jenni

PS. Join my live webinar about strategies for stopping overthinking on October 22 at 1PM Eastern.

You'll see how overthinking isn't just in your mind and develop your own plan for creating peace of mind whenever you want. Sign up here. ​