Free yourself from scarcity thinking: 5 steps
- Feb 19, 2025
- 7 min read
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a clock watcher—obsessively setting deadlines for everything. I’d barely start a task before checking the time and calculating how fast I needed to finish.
The kicker? My deadlines were completely arbitrary.
For instance, I’m four sentences into this issue. A month ago, I would have already checked the time twice and be doing mental math about how to finish the whole thing by 4 PM tomorrow.
Why 4 PM tomorrow? No reason.
A few weeks ago, I realized how often I thought about not having enough time to …
whatever.
Write, sleep, answer email, meditate, cook dinner, exercise, walk the dog, read, do yoga, take a bath.
I’ve done all of them every day for years. But I was still 100% convinced that
I don’t have enough time.
For a few days, I felt how this thought landed in my body and how uncomfortable it was. I journaled about it.
Then I noticed that my gut response to an acquaintance having a win wasn't happiness for them. It was a small, dark twinge of jealousy.
Ohhhh.
Scarcity thinking
A scarcity mindset fundamentally changes how we think and act.
It happens when our minds become consumed with a perceived lack of a resource we value. Time. Money. Success. Love. Confidence. Pasta.
“Perceived” is the key word—because scarcity thinking isn’t always tied to actual scarcity.
It’s like wearing blinders that only let you see what seems to be missing from your life.
I believed I'm short on time.
Even though I can do exactly as I want all the livelong day. My children are grown, I work for myself, and my amazing partner gives excellent house.
I still felt like I couldn’t fit everything in.
Show me the money—and some pasta
Everyone experiences a scarcity mindset at some point. Many people unknowingly operate from one—like I did with all my deadlines.
You can have a scarcity view of any resource you value, no matter how much of it you already have. A friend of mine has $200,000 in her savings account--and cringes when she has to spend more than a few bucks.
Even billionaires can believe they don’t have enough money.
(I don't know for sure which prominent incredibly wealthy people have a scarcity mindset about money, but I can guess.)
Take love and relationships. You can perceive that good partners, friendships, or supportive relationships are rare.
I often hear from people who believe that love isn’t in the cards for them. "All the good ones are taken" or "I'm too old".
When she was 82, a widow for almost 20 years, my mom heard from the boy my grandfather wouldn’t let her date when she was in middle school. 70 years later, he found her. They had a few glorious years together.
Health, peace of mind, self-worth, confidence, shoes—you can think you don't have enough of literally any resource.
And definitely more than one resource.
When we moved to a tiny mountain community 30 miles from real grocery stores, I started stockpiling penne and farfelle like it was gold bullion.
I’d never done it before, but it was 2020. Supply chain issues due to COVID were leaving pasta shelves empty—and what if we got snowed in?
Speaking of “what if”…
Overthinking and a scarcity mindset are...
They both:
hyper-focus on what’s missing
drain your mental energy
increase stress and anxiety
make it harder to make good decisions
For instance, I didn’t realize how much I’d been distracted by perpetual time-keeping until I stopped. My ability to focus skyrocketed.
Studies show that perceived scarcity lowers your functional IQ by up to 14 points, making it harder for you to think clearly. I haven’t yet found research documenting that overthinking also makes your IQ dip, but I fully expect it does.
I definitely didn’t do my finest work with one eye on the clock. Instead of feeling satisfied with what I produced, I was just relieved that I finished.
Overthinking reinforces the scarcity of the resource you think is in short supply.
Every time I looked at the clock, there was less time remaining before my arbitrary deadline. I felt more stressed about not being done yet.
Which reinforced my belief that I didn’t have enough time.
Overthinking and scarcity thinking feed each other protein bars and growth hormone ad infinitum.
What are some signs of scarcity thinking?
You’re more of a pessimist, tending to see the glass as half empty, not half full.
You pay bills at the last minute or forget to pay them.
You excel at finishing short-term projects and tasks, but focusing on long-term goals? Forget it.
Stockpiling or hoarding
When someone you know has a great first day or gets a promotion, you feel annoyed or jealous. Not happy for them.
You either avoid risks or take them all the time.
You always feel like you’re behind.
How else does a scarcity mindset affect you?
You're more likely to notice and remember information that proves your belief about scarcity and overlook contradictory information. This is confirmation bias in action.
For example, if you believe there aren’t enough good men/women available, you’ll focus more on anecdotes about terrible dates and bad relationships, rather than stories of authentic connection and love.
The bias toward selectively paying attention to scarcity strengthens your belief in it.
Scarcity thinking is associated with higher stress and anxiety and lower self-esteem and confidence.
Scarcity thinking makes you more likely to compare yourself to what other people are and have, which is rocket fuel for your inner critic. You’ll always feel like you come up short.
Finally, because scarcity thinking creates stress, you're more likely to experience stress-related physical and mental health issues.
Where does a scarcity mindset come from?
The bottom line is that our brains, wired for survival, instinctively focus on what we don't have.
Intrinsic cognitive biases make you more likely to remember experiences of not having or being enough—and to overestimate how likely they are to happen again.
For instance, you’re more likely to remember the details of a really bad date—and to expect more bad dates in the future.
Other interconnected factors lead to a scarcity mindset.
Early childhood experiences of watching your parents struggle to pay bills can lead you to view financial scarcity as natural part of life.
Even if you’re financially stable, you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Traumatic life events like financial instability or emotional neglect can create persistent fears about future scarcity. And resources aren’t distributed evenly across society—scarcity is a very real and constant experience for some people.
Individual factors, like having a tendency to overthink or unrealistic expectations, also play a role.
And then there’s...
It’s a dog eat dog world
Survival of the fittest
In it to win it
A powerful and pervasive societal message is that we’re all competing for pieces of one pie.
This is the zero-sum cognitive bias.
If someone gets a piece, there’s less available for everyone else. There can never be more pie.
You resent other people’s wins (financial, relationships, anything you believe you lack) because it decreases the chances that you’ll have a win.
Last and far from least, social media platforms are rocket fuel for a scarcity mindset, inviting you to compare yourself to other people 24/7.
5 steps to start shifting from scarcity to abundance thinking
Based on recommendations from 9 therapists and coaches, the first and foundational step is to:
Practice gratitude. Scarcity thinking traps you in what you don’t have. Gratitude shifts your focus to what you DO have.
Gratitude helps retrain your brain to notice and appreciate your existing resources.
There are many ways to incorporate a regular gratitude practice into your life.
Here are a few:
At the beginning or end of each day, finish this sentence 10 different ways: “I’m grateful for….” You don’t have to feel grateful as you write—the feeling will arrive eventually.
Or write your gratitudes on small pieces of paper. Put them in a jar and pull one out when you need to remember all you already are and have.
Express your gratitude to people you love. Take a moment every day to tell them something you appreciate about them.
Say “thank you” more often.
Set a gratitude alarm throughout the day. When it goes off, stop what you’re doing and appreciate three good things.
Recognize and challenge scarcity thoughts. Without addressing them, no change will last.
Your scarcity thoughts drive your behavior and shape your reality.
Without judging or criticizing yourself (hello, being kind to yourself), notice thoughts that contribute to your scarcity mindset as they arise. Stop, acknowledge the thought, and offer your mind an empowering and abundant alternative. Out loud.
“I understand you believe I’ll never feel cherished. I still have a lot of years to live, and I’m choosing to believe that I will feel cherished by a partner.”
This will initially feel very forced and weird.
You’re overcoming years—even decades—of dedication to the worst case scenario. Don’t give up.
In fact, repeat it twice more with conviction.
Expect it to slowly feel more natural and convincing.
Increase positive influences. The people around you shape your thinking.
When reframing your thoughts begins to yield glimmers of hope and belief, start surrounding yourself with mentors, friends, or networks emphasizing growth, optimism, and opportunities.
Wait until you have a bit of success at reframing your own thoughts. Otherwise, you'll be easily swayed by other people's thoughts and experiences--instead of using them to help you continue to find your own way.
Minimize the time you spend with negative, scarcity-focused people. If you haven’t already, curate your social media feeds to eliminate negative and competitive content and focus on positive, expansive creators.
Focus on opportunities. Instead of fixating on lack, train yourself to see possibilities.
Actively training yourself to recognize possibilities fosters creativity and problem-solving.
When you face a challenge, instead of focusing on what’s missing, ask yourself, “What are my opportunities in this situation?” If you have trouble identifying them, ask a positive, growth-oriented person in your support system to help you.
Practice generosity. Giving reinforces abundance—and works best once your scarcity fears have calmed.
Become a mentor or volunteer. Celebrate other people’s success. Give your money, your time, or your talent where it’s needed. Service accelerates abundance thinking.
Questions for the week:
What do you value that you believe you’ll never have enough of?
How can you incorporate practicing gratitude into your daily routine?
How can you increase the number of people in your life who are optimistic and growth-focused?
Sources:
2022. Scarcity mindset: causes and how to overcome it. Cleveland Clinic | Health Essentials.https://health.clevelandclinic.org/scarcity-mindset
Boynton E. 2022. 4 ways to shed scarcity mindset and increase collaboration. Right as Rain by UW Medicine.https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/life/relationships/scarcity-mindset
Burdick E. 2023. There will always be more: overcoming scarcity mindset. Headspace. https://www.headspace.com/mindfulness/there-will-always-be-more-overcoming-scarcity-mindset
Burtka AT. 2024. What is scarcity mentality? WebMD.https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-scarcity-mentality
Cohen MT. 2024. Not enough! The scarcity mindset in dating. Psychology Today.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-love-the-scientific-take/202409/not-enough-the-scarcity-mindset-in-dating
Mafi L. 2022. Tackling scarcity mindset in dating. Intuitive Healing Psychotherapy Practice.
Marter J. 2023. Scarcity mindset: What it is, causes, & how to overcome it. *Choosing Therapy. *****https://www.choosingtherapy.com/scarcity-mindset/
Novotney A. 2014. The psychology of scarcity. Monitor on Psychology. 45(2). https://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/02/scarcity
Terry C. n.d. The scarcity mindset in relationships: Understanding its impact and how to overcome it. Authentic Connections Counseling LLC.https://www.accounselingllc.com/blog/the-scarcity-mindset-in-relationships-understanding-its-impact-and-how-to-overcome-it
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